Koala hugs…

I did get to hug a koala, right around Christmas.  We took a trip to the Cairns Zoo with my boyfriend and his family, ten of us total.  The koala was so cuddly, I never imagined that Id ever see one, let alone be holding one.

Speaking of family, lets get some things straight.  I am doing now what I always wanted in the family I left behind.  My heart yearned to just be able to hop in the car all together and just go to the park, have laughs, picnics, good and happy moments, they dont have to cost a thing…just a little effort, but they are remembered forever.  We could have done anything.  Those times were so far apart and you can’t turn back time.  I really resented my ex’s lack of effort in this.  I was so tired of doing everything alone with the kids.  Something was always more important.

Family means so much. In Darren’s family everyone gets together often.  There is no rush, no attitude, no driving fast and swerving around corners to get home faster…here, the day is for the family.

I learned the hard way, that you only have so much time then its too late.  Kids grow up, have their own lives.  Accidents can happen in the meantime, that change everything.  Then what?  A marriage that was thought to be unshakable is shattered.  Things change, that is life, and you have to cherish every moment.  My ex-husband thought that he’d wait until everything was perfect to finally embrace me, his wife, and his children.  Time keeps rolling, you can’t expect everyone to wait.  And things will NEVER be perfect. 

I never expected much in my twenty years of marriage.  I didnt need new things, we didnt have the money for that anyway.  Birthdays and Christmas’s came and went, as long as the kids got something I was the happiest person on earth.  My favorite thing in the world was to see their smiles.

Just to have a touch from him at times just to know he was there with me, a laugh, a smile, a hug… I would have been completely content. 

How hard would it have been to go have a snowball fight with the kids with me?   Too many missed oppurtunites, it makes me sad.

I had planned on getting into details of the wreck my kids were in, as I said earlier accidents can happen, and what I mean by that is trauma of anykind…and it did for us.  I will leave my blog at this for tonight, leave the wreck for another time.  My point in this writing is to say cherish what you have, dont wait for things to be perfect because that may never happen.

I posted the picture of the koala I cuddled because I was thinking of my kids.  Twelve days to go until I see them, and those are the hugs I truely cant wait for.

Cherish the times you have with people because when those times are gone all you’ll have is memories~  author unknown to me

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~ by itsjojogirl on January 6, 2010.

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