My Message Today

I woke up this morning, did all my regular duties such as taking Darren to work so I can have the car and etc. Got home, and onto my facebook page for a minute to check if there were any messages from my kids…and there was a message from my ex-husband Warren.

It’s 8am, and I was in tears. Again.

I guess his business is going well. I lived through all the hard time of it, now it is finally paying off for him. Research I did way back when we were deciding whether it was worth it to step out and quit a high paying job with great medical benefits to go on your own said that it takes 8-10 years of struggle before the business finally takes off. That has proved to be true.

Back then, I remember it so clearly, it was definately a great leap of faith. I believed in Warren and his abilities…it was his dream to start his own business. My thinking was “just do it”. I worked, so he could fulfill his dream, and we struggled.

We took care of my grandparents too, then the wreck happened. So as you can imagine, not a day of it was ever easy. But we persevered.

My son told me last nite, Warren’s step father has offered to fully fund his company if he comes up with a good business plan to present. Warren will do well and I am happy for him. It frustrates me tho and I will explain why later.

The message said some things concerning our daughter, then he went on to say that he wanted to be able to talk to me about things other than the kids because I know him best. He said that he was sorry for how things turned out and he forgives me for leaving.

Now to tell you why that information bothered me a little.

Warren’s parents always had a high income, both having good careers. As I got older I realized that even people with high incomes could be as broke as we were if you live outside your means. Vacations, lavish items and etc. can do that to anyone.

I sat by for years, as my kids birthdays passed, sometimes they were remembered… sometimes not, it just hurt me because what wonderful kids they never got to really know. The money was more important. A gift in the mail really meant nothing, a relationship is what should have mattered.

Long story short, when the wreck happened and we arrived in Pennsylvania to the trauma center, I was alone virtually the entire time trying divide “one me” between four severely injured children scattered throughout the hospital.

My boys basically were by themselves because I couldnt leave Montana. As I mentioned before, months after the wreck through my persistance based on the fact I knew something wasnt right…they found the break in her neck. Rotary Subluxation of C1 and C2. The blood curdling cries of my daughter still resonate clearly in my head from that time in the hospital.

For whatever reason, during that time, Warren and Al (step father) make a special arrangement with someone from the hospital to use their home computer so Warren could do some work.

I needed him, His kids needed him…and I’d just like to know why it had to be done then? It didnt, that’s the thing. It was done none other to show off to his step father.

I could never forgive him for that. The marriage deteriorated from that point on.

I loved Warren, you see, this divorce is not a case of two people that couldn’t stand eachother and just living together, going through the motions. Maybe that is why…I still cry.

Money will never be more important than my children.

Maybe it was just Warren’s way to deal with the trauma, to escape it. I considered that believe me and that may very well be true because he is not a horrible person. But the fact always remained, that I truely needed him and he wasnt there for five days.

Later as time went by, four years to be exact, the lawsuit was coming to an end. We had not intended to sue the tire company, our decision was made when Montana went back into the hospital right when they found the break in her neck months later.

I fought for justice for what my kids lost. The wreck changed them. All had head injuries. Things such as memory loss, nuerological problems, and etc. were present every single day in each of their lives to varying degrees. My children were not born this way, they were forced to learn to live a new way to compensate for the changes in them. I fought hard, for them. Sometimes that meant fighting doctors, even my own lawyers. Why? Because head injuries in children are not recognized in America as they should be. What did that require of me? I had to educate myself to have a leg to stand on.

I fought for 4 years.

In July 2009, Michilin wanted to settle. Warren’s parents flew in because their attorneys were working with ours.

I will never forget that day, because that is the very day my decision was made to go to Australia. Warren’s father sat at the desk and determined my kids would get 20% and they would get the rest. He made some smart-ass snide comments to me, Warren sat there and did nothing. And my heart was gone from that moment on. They took from my children.

My children did not get offered what they would deserve for what they went through anyway. If it had been a tractor trailor that hit them, with all the same injuries they would have been awarded in excess of 20 million. But because it was a major tire company and the first major incident of that tire, the award was a slap in the face. 1.8 million was awarded to my children combined with Warren’s parents.

After I put them in the proper funds, my boys got $35,000 each…Montana got $220,000 and Warren’s parents got the rest.

Yes, it angers me. They would have got nothing if it was not for my daily journals, they took it all and my children are forever changed.

It was never about money to me, in my opinion I would have loved to take it and tell Michilin to shove it up their asses.

My children, four, FOUR, all at once could have been gone from the face of this earth had it not been for the grace of God.

Greed- Tire company…they know their product will have a certain percentage of failure, lets put the product out their knowingly and just pay out the small percentage that fails- make money that way.
Greed- lets take from children who will never be the same.

I’VE JUST HAD ENOUGH OF IT.

so take the money, start new businesses and lavish as you have, but you better bet to hear from me if my kids are EVER forgotten.

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~ by itsjojogirl on October 27, 2010.

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