Help! I need somebody!

Pressure and stress are all around us no matter where we go or what we do. Sometimes our choices add complications, but over all I do believe it has everything to do with our outlook on situations. This is life and if it was always easy how could we know success, victory or happiness.

I had a really bad week last week. We are struggling with my visa which is adding a lot of stress, its not cheap and they give no leeway. One mess up and I will be waving goodbye to Australia with a no welcome back. Luckily, we met the deadline, but we have four more to go in the following month, so this next month will be very trying.
I also had some issues with Darren’s family. BLAH! How I use to long for family to be near and close in my previous marriage, I thought it would be so wonderful and I never had that. Now, Im begging for family to go away and take all the bull they are throwing on us with them. We are going through enough.. PLEASE let us BREATH! I guess it hurts me so badly because I loved them as my own sister and mom.

I could go on down the list, however I will stop there. Nonetheless, I wanted to curl up in a ball and wither away this week. I seriously considered for a short time just giving up and going back to the country I know. Darren did nothing to me, so it wasnt him at all. We do wonderful together, it’s just a lot of things we are dealing with. See, its never easy no matter where you are.

After long discussions with Darren, I told him I needed help dealing with these things because I am not doing well with it all at times. He told me, the only one who can help me is myself.

I feel as if I have been in a box for a long time that has been crushed from every side.

We talked about how he deals with things verses how I do. I do not blow things off at all, I take everything to heart, which isnt always a good thing. I am much more sensitive than usual since the divorce, very on edge a lot of the time, so that isnt helping as well.

I woke up today and held onto Darren’s words, I determined that if my outlook and my attitude is what makes it so difficult for me to blow things off…then I need to make changes because the stress I create for myself is way too much for me to handle.

I do need to help myself, by changing my perspective…and expecting resistance and difficulty rather than being surprised by it all the time. I need to focus on what is important, and all the little things( little things include family causing problems) … I need to just…blow it off.

I made a plan.
I exercised today and I have determined to start doing healthy things in place of all the negativisms that I have focused on for so long.

I can help myself.
I can learn to blow it off and refocus on positives.

I have been torn down for so long, why do I want to stay there? I dont.


~ by itsjojogirl on November 1, 2010.

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